Monday, January 22, 2007


Before you play this video there are some things you need to know!

BMW is an initialism for Bayerische Motoren Werke Aktiengesellschaft (in English, Bavarian Motor Works), an independent German company and manufacturer of automobiles and motorcycles. BMW is the parent company of MINI and Rolls-Royce car brands.

Madonna (born Aug. 16, 1958) whose full name is Madonna Louise Ciccone Ritchie, is a five-time Grammy award winning American pop star. She is also a singer, songwriter, record and film producer, dancer, actress and author. She is noted for her innovative and often controversial work. She is the highest paid female singer of all time according to the 2007 Guinness Book of Records.

Clive Owen (born Oct. 3, 1964) is a Golden Globe and BAFTA winning critically acclaimed English actor, now a prominent performer in Hollywood and Independent American films. In 2005, he was nominated for an Academy Award and won a Golden Globe and BAFTA for Best Supporting Actor for his role in the film version of Closer.

Guy Ritchie (born Sept. 10,1968) is an English writer-director, who adopted a cockney accent, despite being the stepson of baronet Sir Michael Leighton of Loton Park and a descendent of Edward. On Dec. 22, 2000, he married the American pop singer Madonna and has directed several of her music videos, including Star for the BMW films series.

OK. Now you can watch the video, but only if you promise to read the following previously published poems. If your answer is no, do not collect $200 and don’t even think about passing GO:

Mutants In The Heating System

In this scenario I pretend to be a stone wall deep in the
woods with one mystifying story to tell. She makes out like
she's the nearest speakeasy where they dance the Charleston
and drink bathtub gin. The shoestring of swagger memorizes
the entire guide to Greece and the goddess of fables has the
power to and the goddess of fables has the power to forecast
every dream to come. Churches wear veils. Jewelry stores
breathe fire. News from the outside world arrives handcuffed
or life is a secret fraternity of wasp stings. Here's the
part where the audience has to assume common colds come in
the powdered from and that trees develop a fever when they
grow new leaves. On the other hand, surely is here somewhere,
riding in a gas balloon over the lake. Happiness never appears
after childhood or desire that could cobweb the wig-maker.
Either way, a sudden draft turns the page to eternal damnation
which is already dressed and made up for the role of Hamlet.

How To Gregorian A Moscow

When I first noticed the voice in my scissors it seemed
to speak a foreign. But now, I understand every word.
Here’s a few examples of the good advice it’s bestowed--

Expect air always to mystify a room.

Only occasional prowlers use the cellar stairs.

Suspenders have the most striking effect on gray cats.

Never try to read a Russian novel in bed while smoking.

Pillows are helpful if your marriage is on the rocks.

Seedy neighborhoods never have exit signs visibly marked.

Never expect to find a naked mannequin in a pawn shop.

Snowflakes are excellent at making salads laugh.

Next time try adding a cuckoo-clock to your soup.

A smart faucet only drips after midnight.

Even holes can still maintain dignified appearances.

These poems first appeared online at:
Copyright 2007 by Maurice Oliver. All Rights Reserved.
Also visit my e-zine at:
My music blog at:
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